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There’s an old joke in recovery circles that goes: how do you know when a date between two sober alcoholics has gone well?

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Dating sober alcoholic

A graphic designer with 11 years of sobriety and a Bettie Page look, she struggles with what she calls her “Alanon issues.” “It’s hard,” she says, “because I feel like I know what he’s supposed to be doing and that’s when I find myself analyzing whether he’s doing it or not.” Dr.

Ryan, a 32-year-old post-production editor in Hollywood with long brown hair and piercings, is seven years sober but over the years has found that meetings “aren’t critical to my sobriety.” He still has a strong support group around him and tries to practice the principles that he learned in AA, even if he doesn’t agree with all of them.

He has been with his fiancé Jill for three years, and admits that “the hardest part is being with somebody who thinks they know what I should be doing and who analyzes what I am doing: she can have her program and it may not be my program and I can have mine—or lack thereof—and it might not be hers.”For Jill though, standing on the sidelines is tricky.

But not all sober relationships are of the shotgun nature; for many who find love on the AA campus, sober relationships can mirror the rest of world—meaning they’re hard, scary, and (usually) worth the effort.

Bryan is a recovered insurance agent from Houston who, at 42, is 10 years sober and recently married to a woman he met in AA.


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